President Takes Bold Decisive Action on Immigration

Washington, DC (PFNN) Sources within the Administration have stated that the President is preparing to sign an executive order to undo the Arizona's irresponsible act of defending its citizens. In their reckless attempt to fulfill their oath to serve and protect the citizens of Arizona the state government has dared to defy the National government and choose to fulfill their oaths to enforce the laws. In response the EO orders the immediate deployment of the National Guard to the state to disarm all local and state law enforcement agents and to arrest the governor and members of the state government. In an attempt to smooth over relations with the Mexican government, the President is expected to fly to Mexico City to make a formal apology to the Mexican people and turn over sovereignty of all lands within the borders of the former State of Arizona to Mexican officials.

The Mexican government is expected to begin immediate deportation of any racist Yankee Gringos that reside within the surrendered territory. It is expected that the transfer of power should be relatively short due to many of the past efforts to convert much of the state to bilingual signs and packaging. One major issue will be the removal of any remaining English signs and documents. This is necessary to insure consistency with the rest of Mexico. But the transformation will go much faster after the new government takes full possession.

It may require additional time if any now illegal US citizens attempt to stay and must be removed by force. It is expected that the Mexican Federal Police and the US National Guard should be able take care of any right winger who choose to disobey the evacuation order. It may be harder to determine how many other Central or South Americans are currently occupy the territory, but they will also need to be relocated north of the new border.

It is hoped that this move will satisfy the Mexican people and quiet any tension between these neighboring countries. If not, Texas, New Mexico, Nevada, and/or California may have to be turned over one by one or together as reparation for the unforgivable crime of the American people simply asking that they be protected and the established laws be enforced by their government. Only time will tell.

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New May Day Celebration

Washington (PFNN) April 18, 2010 - Rumors of a new move to embrace better relations with the rest of the world have been heard. It seems that with the guidance of the new "Labor Relations CZAR" Andy Stern, the White House is preparing to sign an Executive Order to rename May 1st or May Day to Labor Day. Since the rest of the world celebrates the first of May as Labor Day it will help to improve communications and relations with the rests of the world.

To celebrate this change the order also mandates that mandatory festive parades be organized in all major cities that will replace the current outdated and unfriendly to international traditions, May Poll dances and other celebration of spring events. To keep with the international flavor local unions will provide marchers holding pro-labor banners with picture of some of the heroes of the Revolution, the unions, and the President. These will include: Chairman Mao, Che Guevara, Vladimir Lenin, Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky, and Joseph Stalin too name a few. To help out in this spirit of international labor, these parades will consist mainly of military equipment such as fully armed tanks, soldiers, and in some cities jet fighters and bombers. Due to scheduled cut backs in military spending, the Administration is contacting foreign countries to see if they can provide troops for this glorious celebration of Labor Day. It is uncertain if these troops will be used to "encourage" 100% attendance.

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Early reports say that China has volunteered 6 million troops, Venezuela will send 50,000, and a report from Mexico that: "They have already sent enough troops across the border and most are already in position." Other countries are expected to join in as they better understand to final goals of our leader.

It has also be heard that to avoid confusion, the old Labor day will be renamed to "Kill a Capitalist Day."

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