Washington (PFNN) April 18, 2010 - Rumors of a new move to embrace better relations with the rest of the world have been heard. It seems that with the guidance of the new "Labor Relations CZAR" Andy Stern, the White House is preparing to sign an Executive Order to rename May 1st or May Day to Labor Day. Since the rest of the world celebrates the first of May as Labor Day it will help to improve communications and relations with the rests of the world.
To celebrate this change the order also mandates that mandatory festive parades be organized in all major cities that will replace the current outdated and unfriendly to international traditions, May Poll dances and other celebration of spring events. To keep with the international flavor local unions will provide marchers holding pro-labor banners with picture of some of the heroes of the Revolution, the unions, and the President. These will include: Chairman Mao, Che Guevara, Vladimir Lenin, Karl Marx, Leon Trotsky, and Joseph Stalin too name a few. To help out in this spirit of international labor, these parades will consist mainly of military equipment such as fully armed tanks, soldiers, and in some cities jet fighters and bombers. Due to scheduled cut backs in military spending, the Administration is contacting foreign countries to see if they can provide troops for this glorious celebration of Labor Day. It is uncertain if these troops will be used to "encourage" 100% attendance.
Please support us by visiting our sponsors
Early reports say that China has volunteered 6 million troops, Venezuela will send 50,000, and a report from Mexico that: "They have already sent enough troops across the border and most are already in position." Other countries are expected to join in as they better understand to final goals of our leader.
It has also be heard that to avoid confusion, the old Labor day will be renamed to "Kill a Capitalist Day."
Pedro's Fake News Network (PFNN) - We put the P back into the fake network news.
Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.